I’m afraid of a lot of things. Some are just stupid, mundane things such as spiders and other creepy crawlers. Some were born from events that happened to me long ago, hence, my fear of heights. However there is actually a type of fear that can affect our everyday lives and put the brakes on the things that we really care about. It can take over our thoughts to the point that it creates all kinds of chaos in our mind that actually fuels the original fear even more. But that is not the worst of it!
You see, this fear is not warranted. It is just a figment of our imagination because we haven’t even experienced the actual scary event yet. We say things such as: I just know that if I do this, so and so could happen. How will I be able to handle it? What if I… (fill in the blank)?
This relentless cycle of thoughts picks up speed as time goes by because we keep adding new ‘what ifs’. We begin absorbing anything that we see or hear that could feed this fear so that we have more excuses to not act on it. It becomes increasingly clear to us that we will most likely not take the necessary steps to conquer this monster that is weighing so heavily on our shoulders and that is robbing us of our confidence. This is where it becomes absolutely crucial that we acknowledge that IT is there and IT will not go away.
So how to we begin to end this paralysis and get ourselves on track to actionable steps to conquer our fear? Here is my take on this:
Step 1: Acknowledge it. What is your actual fear? Is it warranted? Why do you feel it? Where does it come from?
Step 2: Envision it. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen if you were to take action to conquer it? Is this something that you can control?
Step 3: Plan for it. Yes, take out that pen and paper and write out baby steps that you can take that will lead you to eventually face your fear. DO NOT procrastinate any of these steps. Make them SMART. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound.
Step 4: Feel it. It’s D day. You are going to do this. Acknowledge your feelings but get yourself to the event or in front of your beast no matter what is it. Just get yourself there.
Step 5: Do it! It may not go exactly as planned but that’s ok. Accept that and feel the confidence swoop through you anyways. You faced it. You embraced it. You did it!